


The Super-Bitch Queen of My Heart

by katywritescrack (katya1828)



Series: Because evil!Chloe Rules! [2]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Amenadiel (Lucifer TV) Being an Asshole, Angst and Humor, Blood and Violence, Crack, F/M, Fights, Humor, Hurt Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Whump, Out of Character, Sex, Sibling Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23529901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katya1828/pseuds/katywritescrack
Summary: From a prompt by kymera219 - Amenadiel decides to try and drive his brother back to Hell by banging the detective himself.This is, uh, somewhat OOC, but that’s kinda the point, plus I’m totally losing the plot, in life, fic, and everything. It follows on from the first drabble in the series, but all you really need to know from that is evil!Lucifer is so totes in wuv with evil!Chloe that it hurts.Season 1 AU i.e. Amenadiel still has his powers.  Slight trigger warnings for suicide references, but in a very cracky “we’ll go straight to hell anyway” context.
Relationships: Amenadiel & Chloe Decker, Amenadiel & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Amenadiel/Chloe Decker, Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Because evil!Chloe Rules! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693261
Comments: 13
Kudos: 21





	The Super-Bitch Queen of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kymera219](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kymera219/gifts).



Chloe was still floating in the afterglow of her fifteenth orgasm, when Amenadiel—her latest supersized meal of sweat, sex, and hotness—rolled off her, panting. He flopped down beside her.

“Not bad,” said Chloe. “Lucifer’s just so much _better_ at it, though.” Amenadiel’s sated expression hardened into a scowl. She walked her fingers up his buff chest, then poked the tip of his nose teasingly. “Sorry, Amenadiel, but you are a bit of a… shall we say, _fifteen_ pump chump? Lucifer just has _so_ many more moves. And the places he can reach with his tong—oh, speak of the about-to-be-very-shouty-and-stabby Devil.”

She smiled coyly, fluttering her lashes, as Lucifer walked into his boudoir to find his great love entangled in a post-coital clinch with his elder brother. Lucifer’s eyes turned red; his handsome features creased into the most exquisite portrait of rage. Aw, he was such a _darling_ when he was mad.

And then the fun began. Chloe snuggled up against the silken pillows and only wished she’d brought pop-corn.

As Lucifer strode toward him, Amenadiel jumped up, fists primed, then tripped over the boxers he’d gotten tangled around his ankles. As he yanked them up, Lucifer charged him, using his shoulders to barge Amenadiel straight through window in a rain of shattering glass, then out onto the balcony. Lucifer hailed Amenadiel upright, and leaned him back over the rail, so Amenadiel teetered precariously over the multi-storey drop.

“I do have wings, Luci,” said Amenadiel, pawing at the hand Lucifer had clamped about his throat. “Throwing me over the balcony won’t be much use. Throwing yourself? Now, there’s a thought. _You’ve_ no wings anymore, have you, little brother? And what’s keeping you here now I’ve soiled your cute Detective friend?”

 _Cute? How fucking dare he,_ thought Chloe, who’d pulled on a bathrobe and wandered out to watch; she’d even found an apple to munch on. She was interested in how Lucifer would react.

Lucifer, indeed, didn’t do much other than react for the next several minutes, after Amenadiel threw him off him so violently he flew back through the broken window and landed unceremoniously on his oh-so-effing-hot arse. Amenadiel then took control of the fight.

Chloe knew it was a little unfair, her hanging around. After all, Lucifer wasn’t as powerful as his brother anyway, and her presence tipped the scales further in the elder sibling’s favour. But, heck, watching them bash the shiz out of each other was a mahoooosive turn on. She wondered if she could trick them into having angry sex. Maybe another time.

Still, she was extra pleased when Amenadiel ripped Lucifer’s shirt, so it hung in tattered threads. She relished watching Lucifer’s beautiful creamy flesh crunch and bruise beneath Amenadiel’s relentless blows.

When he had enough breath to talk, Lucifer’s utterings piqued her interest. “I’m not going to bloody top myself, Amenadiel,” he panted. “I’m going to torture _you_ for all eternity for daring touch her… but the Detective? I’d forgive her anything, do anything to stay with her.” He paused to wedge his shoulder back into its socket, before taking a rather low-octane swing toward his brother’s nose. “Even if she slept with Dad, I’d have to rip _his_ balls off, but she’d still be…” He broke off, as Amenadiel threw him into the bed with such force the frame snapped in two. “She’d still be… the super-bitch queen…. of my heart.”

Lucifer lay splayed onto the broken bed, his breathing laboured, and bleeding profusely from multiple wounds. Then he gave a wheezy gasp and his body went limp. Chloe sat down next to him on the mangled bedclothes, and stroked his cheek with the back of her knuckles. She looked up at Amenadiel, who staggered dizzily over to them. “Is he dying?” she asked.

“Oh no,” said Amenadiel. “I would never kill him directly. Father would never stand for it.”

“ _Whut_?” Chloe all but spat in Amenadiel’s face, furious. “I only slept with you, so that you’d fight and you’d win, then kill him and send him back to hell. And then I could go down and be Queen of Hell. And everything would be awesome.”

“Eh? No.” Amenadiel looked befuddled and apologetic. “I slept with you, so he’d be so mad he’d _want_ to go back to hell, and, uh… then either get himself there, or ask me to take him. I can’t do the killing. I _am_ an angel.”

“You’re pathetic!” she screamed.

“Why haven’t _you_ just killed him?” said Amenadiel, hopefully.

“Because watching you two fight gets me horny, and I thought it would be cool,” she said. “But I suppose I _could_ do it. Jesus effing wept! Do I have to do everything myself?” She slapped Lucifer’s face.

“Eh?” Lucifer flickered his eyes open.

“Babe.” Chloe grabbed his chin, forcing him to blink blearily up at her. “Do you fancy going back to Hell to rule there forever with me as your super-evil Queen?”

He appeared to mull the prospect over for a moment, fretting his blood-smeared lower lip. “Honestly? It’s pretty dull down there. There’s way more opportunities for murder, crime and mayhem here in LA. Plus…” He coughed pitifully then gulped. “Amazon doesn’t deliver to Hell, which is a bit rich, as they were _founded_ there. But seeing as you snap a sex-swing every week, and we get through half-a-dozen vibrating Mr BigBunnies… er, you get my gist?”

“Okay, sweetie-pie, as sure as you’re sure? ’Cos I’m more than happy to kill you slowly and painfully, then top myself right after.”

Lucifer slid his gaze toward Amenadiel, and his irises flashed an anaemic shade of pastel pink. _He really must be feeling poorly, _mused Chloe.

“Quite sure,” said Lucifer. “Even if Amazon did deliver, and I believe they’re considering it, going back to Hell would please _that knobhead—”_ He poked his tongue at Amenadiel. “And it’d please Dad, and so—” His eyes rolled up, and he passed out again. Fortunately, Chloe had gotten the gist.

“Soz, Amenadiel.” She raised her middle finger at the angel, who still lingered at her shoulder. “I win. He stays. Bye!” Amenadiel looked crestfallen, and started shuffling toward the elevator, like a mangy dog with a droopy tail.

“Oh, hold on,” said Chloe, calling him back. “Can you come help me chain your bro’ to what's left of the bed? So, uh, he’s exactly where I want him when he’s healed and wakes up?” Then another idea struck, and she blessed him with her “cutest” smile. “And when we’ve done that, how about a quickie in the elevator?”


End file.
